"Sorry sir, you're dead."

Alan Campbell was amazed when he rang up the NHS to book an appointment only to find out that he was officially dead on there records and was refused an appointment. After being told to "Go to his GP and get it sorted" and thinking he'd accomplished this, he then rang up again only to find that he is still dead. Just in case it needs clarifying, Alan Campbell is NOT dead.

Robo-op

A new batch of totally obedient medicine students has descended upon NHS Forth Valley Hospital, just in the form of these robots. They are lacking in the 9 years medical training, but should be able to complete simple cleaning tasks whilst moving through an underground network of corridors. They will also be responsible for bringing food and medicine to the patients, freeing up much valuable doctor's time, but leading to an unfortunate rise in unemployed women . Let's just hope everything 'computes' and soon we'll be talking about robo-cop roaming the streets and fighting crime for real.