'Double Dared'

18 year old Philip Macintosh, shown left, a student of Teeside University, has spent £33 on changing his name to Bagheera Anthony Dairy Lea Dunkable Mackintosh after he was dared to by one of his friends. This particular choice in name arises from 2 different origins, Bagheera is after a main character from 'Disney's A Jungle Book', When questioned about the other portion of his name he replied "we just thought we may as well do it properly so added in the 'Dairy Lea Dunkable' bit." He has decided to keep his new name for a while but hasn't yet told his father.
How can people claim there's not enough worthwhile things for teenagers to do?

Patience

Patience is the name of the game for Mahut and Isner at Wimbledon today, as they continue to battle it out in their epic tennis match. Overnight the score was 2 sets a piece and 59 games all in the fifth and final set, too win one player must have an advantage of at least 2 games. This match has broken the record for the longest tennis match already, and just the last set has now become longer than the previous longest match. The game also holds the record for most aces. Today it is moving into its third day. I wouldn't bet on either of them in the next round, but they'll enjoy there moment of fame.

Rivalry

If only England had drawn they would have finished a World Cup unbeaten for the first time since 1966, But they had to go and win. They now appear likely to play Germany in the next round, lets just all pray it doesn't go to penalties and take a minute to cast our mind back to 2001 and remember this scoreline from Munich.

"Sorry sir, you're dead."

Alan Campbell was amazed when he rang up the NHS to book an appointment only to find out that he was officially dead on there records and was refused an appointment. After being told to "Go to his GP and get it sorted" and thinking he'd accomplished this, he then rang up again only to find that he is still dead. Just in case it needs clarifying, Alan Campbell is NOT dead.

Grow Up

On Monday in a protest against rising security levels in St Pettersburg, Russia a group of artists have drawn a 67m long penis on the main drawbridge of the city. When this drawbridge rises to erect the penis it is next to the local headquarters of the Russian security department. It might surprise you to learn that all the culprits were fully grown adults.

Robo-op

A new batch of totally obedient medicine students has descended upon NHS Forth Valley Hospital, just in the form of these robots. They are lacking in the 9 years medical training, but should be able to complete simple cleaning tasks whilst moving through an underground network of corridors. They will also be responsible for bringing food and medicine to the patients, freeing up much valuable doctor's time, but leading to an unfortunate rise in unemployed women . Let's just hope everything 'computes' and soon we'll be talking about robo-cop roaming the streets and fighting crime for real.

Paranoia

The South Korean government are trying to hide their blushes today after mistaking balloons for North Korean paratroopers. The balloons were released by a South Korean kindergarten and despite travelling upwards and looking like balloons there was a security alert raised.

Spending Cuts

George Osborne has been very clever by choosing to announce his emergency budget cuts at a time when people are much more worried about England being knocked out of the World Cup. He should still be 'shadow' chancellor with stealth like that. £85billion of spending cuts to come on Tuesday, why not just wait and take it out the England players wages if they don't get through on Wednesday.